I was flipping through Mom's catalogues the other day and made a decision. I want to be a model dog. Not as in perfect dog, you understand, but as in model-throw-my-fur back-and-stand-with-attitude dog. Like the dachshund in the latest Talbot's catalog. Oh boy! On my back, hubba hubba, in the cashmere scarves. Click. A little velvet blazer and a fake stogie treat in my mouth. Click. Raised eyebrow in a houndstooth (get it? ha ha!) coat. Click.
My question is: why do they use purebreds. I'm a purebred. A purebred mix breed. This search for the perfect dog, sheesh. If we tried a search for the perfect human, how many do you think would qualify? Let's see, Mother Theresa, Derek Jeter, Walt Disney (hey, creating all those characters and Disney World !), Julia Child, Sullie Chesney the guy who landed the plane safely, a few others. (I love my pet mom and dad but they are not perfect.) It would come to maybe 14. Are you humans perfect? Noooooooo!
Us shelter dogs are the best. We are so happy to be in a good home we are in a state of delirium for the first week, stunned that our wish finally came through. That is why we would be so perfect as models. Just our natural street selves. We'd blend so well with the real models. Think about it.
So mom and dad just saw Memphis on Broadway. Mom was doing some kind of rock and roll dance when she came in. I heard her talking about it. Standing ovation. Knock your block off singing. Amazing dancing. In the song Change Don't Come Easy, Mom says there was a phrase, "Change or our spirits will die." It's about a white disc jockey and a black singer who fall in love when segregation was still in place. They liked Ragtime too. Mom said it was so powerful, she was overwhelmed. So, like, take me next time, will you? How much can a doggy ticket cost? (Mom keeps saying the tickets cost through the nose. What does that mean? Do I have to blow my nose before I get a ticket? Does the ticket magically come out of my nose? So confusing, these terms.)
And how about those Rescue Ink guys? Man, if it weren't for them, there'd be a lot more dogs and cats cowering in places they shouldn't be in. You go guys. Hey, maybe I can be your mascot. Whoo Hoo! Forget the model dog gig. I want to be a Rescue Ink mascot. I could ride on a motorcycle. With a scarf! (So I do one gig with Talbots and get to keep the you-know-what!)
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