Before the main event begins, the audience is held hostage while an interminable Goofy cartoon, "How to Install Your Home Theatre System," is shoved in its collective face. This grossly unfunny debacle is so poorly calculated, so embarrassingly dated and so amateurish in nature that it casts doubt on the main feature that is yet to come. Sadly, such misgivings are soon rewarded.
"National Treasure: Book of Secrets" is a lazy, cookie-cutter picture that falls short in every meaningful category. The original was fun, in a sloppy, hey-kids-the-United-States-is-a-big-Soduku-puzzle sort of way. This one is more like a checklist. Nicholas "I saved Ghost Rider" Cage? Check. Hot blonde chick whose name no one remembers? Check. Small appearances by big-name stars (Harvey Keitel, Bruce Greenwood, Ed Harris)? Check. Car chases? Explosions? Random, haphazard quips? Check. A climax at Mount Rushmore? (Hey, it worked for Hitchcock!) Check. A booming score that tells audiences how exciting everything is? Check.
Unfortunately, what the producers forgot to bring were the following: a script that made sense, narrative coherence, purposeful editing, actual acting, characters we could care about, a sense of fun and anything resembling intellgence. This is the sort of film I'd expect to be made AFTER the writers' strike; unfortunately, it was completed long before. The secret is out: "National Treasure" may have debuted at #1, but it is an insult to America.
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